My Cousin sent me this:

I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend who This morning called ‘out-of-the-blue’ to see if I was still around.

We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic times we used to enjoy together.

I couldn’t believe it when she asked if I’d be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that ‘old magic’.

‘Wow!’ I was flabbergasted.

‘I don’t know if I could keep pace with you now’, I said, ‘I’m a bit older and a bit greyer and balder than when you last saw me. Plus I don’t really have the energy I used to have.’

She just giggled and said she was sure I would ‘rise to the challenge’.

‘Yeah.’ I said. ‘Just so long as you don’t mind a waistline that’s a few inches wider these days! Not to mention my total lack of muscle tone….everything is sagging, my teeth are a bit yellowed and I am developing jowls like a Great Dane!’

She laughed and told me to stop being so silly.

She teased me saying that tubby, gray haired, older men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover.

Anyway, she giggled and said, ‘I’ve put on a few pounds myself!’

So I told her to fuck off.